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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Monday was Izzy's birthday. Happy belated birthday, Izzy! So, yesterday I was supposed to have gone to the Emirati embassy, but it turned out I didn't have to go, then Megan was too tired or something to go to Shekha's school and I didn't wanna go alone, so I went for Izzy's birthday thingy at East Coast Park. I met Naz and David at Tampines Mall and then we went. It took fuckin' forever to get there. When we got there, Izzy, Aizat and Adeel were half naked (ooh la la) and Fifi and Ain were burying Filzah in the sand. Then Adeel, Naz and David gave Izzy his birthday present: Maxim. Ayo! Of all things... Anyway, then we just sat around and ate and talked and then I felt like buying bubbles, 'cause I saw kids blowing bubbles, and I went to buy, then I ended up buying a can of Heineken as well. Then David and me shared that and we all blew bubbles, and then me, Aizat, David and Adeel went for a walk and spoke of un-Islamic things and played with this really cute doggy and then headed back to the good Muslims. After a while the girls decided to go on the breakwater, so the guys opened the Maxim and flipped through it. I have no I idea what I was doing there, but sure enough there I was staring at half naked girls with them. Hmm. Then when the girls got back, we decided to faint. You know, where you squat and look down and breathe deeply 13 times and then stand against a wall, and someone presses hard on your chest, and the next moment you're out like a light. We didn't have a wall nearby so someone just had to hold a skimming board up against a lamppost as a backing. Haha a bit pathetic, but better than nothing. Anyway, first up was David. Aizat did it on him but by the time he collapsed to the ground, he was conscious. Then next, I did it. After a lot of contemplation, of course, seeing as I'm a girl and I'm not flat and... some guy was gonna press my chest. But I trust those guys like anything, and I went ahead with it. David did it on me when I stood, and it was kinda funny so everyone was laughing and I laughed a bit too, so I didn't hold my breath properly and it didn't work too intensely. But when I became conscious, I saw everyone around me and I was thinking, "Did I stand up at all?" and David was trying to pick me up. Then I saw the video (Adeel was videoing the whole thing) and when I fell, I went "Whoop!" and then apparently I growled when I was on the ground, and I was licking my lip gloss and my head was down and when David tried lifting my head, I accidentally licked his hand. Eee! Haha... I think that whole licking thing had to do with when I passed my lip gloss around and made everyone taste it 'cause it tastes like berries. Then Izzy went and before he did it, he said, "I love you, Fifi". So sweet! Ah! Then he fainted. It was cool. Then I was so excited I wanted to have another go. So Aizat waited for the girls to go to the toilet (something about not being able to touch me in front of them or something), then he made me faint. But he wasn't the only one pressing. After he pressed, Izzy AND David pressed, too! So it was super fucking intense! It felt like hours had passed and I was dreaming. I don't know what I dreamt, and I can't describe it in any way, not even to myself. It's SO abstract. But I know that I completely understood what I dreamt. I dunno how to explain it, it's weird. When I was regaining consciousness, in the back of my head I was thinking, "Oh shit, I'm gonna be so late and my mom's gonna kill me", and then as I grew more conscious I suddenly thought the cops had come and we were gonna get in trouble. Then I saw this Chinese guy who I thought had come from another party nearby who was asking if everything was okay with us, and then it turned out that it was Izzy and he was asking if I was okay. It was so intense! Then I saw the video and when I fell, I growled again. But this time, I growled more. They called me Satan. Haha! (That was the second reference to Satan and me yesterday. The first time was when David said he promised himself he didn't wanna drink but I made him drink anyway.) Then David decided to have another go, too, and his was fuckin' scary! Aizat and Izzy pumped his chest, and he slumped down, and suddenly he exploded! Like, he shook really violently! FUCK MAN it was so scary! Then Aizat and Izzy were slapping him, trying to get him to awake and he was shaking his head, refusing. Then when he woke up, he staggered and walked it off and came back and all he said was, "Fuck." Shit, it was freaky! Before he went down his arms stretched out on both sides like Jesus and everything! Shit! Apparently I shook violently too, when I went down. Whoa... Then me, David, Naz and Adeel left.
At night, I couldn't sleep. You know how it is, right? During the holidays, there's no school, nothing doing that's physically straining, so you don't get tired... Well for me, I'm so relaxed all the time that I can't sleep. I'm becoming an insomniac. At night I lie in bed and I'm not asleep but I'm not awake. It's like, I... just... am. I AM. I dunno how to explain it. I can't sleep, but I can't stay awake and read or anything. I can't talk on the phone, I can't watch TV, I can't concentrate on anything. I can't concentrate on staying awake and I can't concentrate on sleeping. So 'cause of this, I've been having to take EC the past few nights, to help me sleep. EC is this thing which I won't name. It's a muscle relaxant spray that you spray onto some cloth and then suck in through your mouth. It gets you a buzz, sort of a high, for a few seconds. A very short yet somewhat intense high, depending on how much your intake is. So I did that last night, and I decided to do this other fainting thing that you can do to yourself. It's like, you sit in bed and bend down and breathe hard 6 or 7 times, then hold your breath and sit upright, and use your hands to pull your neck back on both sides, so you're squeezing your windpipe. Usually I think it's the same as above: squatting then standing. But if you're alone, do this so that you'll land in your bed and not on the ground. So I did that, and I don't know what happened, and suddenly I opened my eyes and I swear I saw the guys in front of me, and "Chinese Izzy" walking around me and I heard them all talking to me, asking if I was okay. It was EXACT deja vu. An exact replay of what had happened earlier. And then they faded before my eyes and I was staring at the wall, and I noticed a sharp pain in my back. It was the EC bottle. How that got there, I know not, 'cause initially the bottle was in my hand, but then when I awoke, my hand was at my side and the bottle was under me. Then I called up David and told him my EC experience and I dunno what I said or what he said and then I hung up with him and called up Naz and told him the same thing and again I dunno what we said, then I hung up and fell asleep. According to David, I was laughing a lot on the phone.
I was telling the guys about this one time I made myself faint. I wrapped a towel round my neck and pulled it, and the next thing I know, I'm sprawled against my closet and my head hurts where I fell on it against the closet, and I can see my bed in front of me and I'm struggling to grab it to pull myself up but I just can't do it. It was like drowning out of water. It was freaky. And they (especially David) freaked out when I told them 'cause I coulda killed myself, 'cause I was all alone, my door was locked, and if that towel was still wrapped around my neck I would've suffocated. As for the in-bed fainting thing, I don't think it's that dangerous 'cause you're only using your hands and obviously you'll let go when you faint, 'cause you'll fall limp. The in-bed was actually taught to me by one of my cousins. He and his friends were smoking weed (in Bangladesh) and then when they were high, his friends told him to do it, and he did, but the thing was when he fainted, he fell straight to the ground and his friends (lousy friends, nonetheless) didn't catch him 'cause they were too high or something and he injured his head. It was bleeding, I think. So when he told me, I tried it that night, except minus the weed. And I still got high and fainted. So, yeah.
All this writing about getting high and fainting is making my dizzy.
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